this and that

My blogging is slacking lately! I find myself having one of two problems when it comes time to blog.
1. I am too tired and have too much going on to sit down and blog, or
2. I have absolutely nothing to say!

In person I always have something to say! No doubt. But when it comes to typing and trying to organize a sentence I find myself with nothing to say worth typing.

Lately Baylee will not let me put a bow on her head! She refuses to keep anything on her head. Its sad for me. I thought if I conditioned her from the beginning I wouldn't have this problem, I was wrong. Every once in a while I can clip a bow to the one piece of hair she has on top and it takes her a while to notice but she always does notice.

Baylee makes me so tired these days. I can not get her to sit still unless she is eating and she rarely wants to eat! She is not happy unless she is walking around and getting into things. It's exhausting.

I received my divorce papers from my lawyer today. 61 pages of just divorce! yikes. Then there is all of the child support paper work I have to read through and sign off on. Not sure how much good it will do since I still have not seen one penny. Its a little shocking I have to admit to see the papers. But one thing I didn't expect was to be completely ok with the papers. I am not sad about it anymore. Now there are days when I cry and feel like such a failure and want my family back but for the most part I feel ok. I don't know if this is because I am in complete denial of what is happening or if I have just been pushed so far I can't come back.

I'll be going back to work full time next month. I'm sad but happy at the same time. I am glad to get out of the house more and contribute but I am sad that my routine with Baylee will change. I am going to put her in mother's day out 3 days a week from about 9-1. In the afternoons I'll bring her to work with me and on the other days I'm praying my mom will watch her. It's in the air at the moment. I really don't want to put her in childcare full time. Plus I don't know that I could afford it. I am baffled by how much it costs now days.