venting, again.

I think my blog is turning into my venting place. I don't want it to but I also do not want to air my feelings on a social network. I feel more comfortable airing my feelings on my own blog that I know certain people do not read.

First of all, I know that I need to stop looking at my ex husbands facebook. But I can't help it! But everytime I look, I get angry. I'm upset at the things he says he is doing. Not because they are awful but because why couldn't he every do those things as a husband? He's joined a softball team, he goes to the shooting range, he has "worship". I mean come on!! I could never get him to leave the house unless it was to go hang out with his friends and get drunk and stoned. Which would end up in a huge fight between us because I hated that he did that stuff. How can he move on with his life and act as if his family doesn't matter? HELLO you have a DAUGHTER! Where are your posts about her?! I walk in and look at my miracle laying in her crib asleep and I cry. I cry because he is choosing to miss it all. For what? Weed, Alcohol?! Soft Ball? I just don't understand.

Another part of me is upset that he can afford to do all of these things without a care in the world. Does he even think about how much it costs to support Baylee everyday? It frustrates me that I am unable to do anything because all of the money I do earn goes all to Baylee. It's not right that he isn't helping to support her.

End of vent