Today I realized something...Some of God's greatest gifts are REALLY unanswered prayers! I've heard this many times throughout my life but today, I understand it. I found out that an ex boyfriend of mine is still working at the same job, making the same money and doing the same loser teenage stuff that he was when we were 16. I know this sounds harsh and judgemental and I guess maybe it is but it also shows me how lucky I am to have not ended up with him. At 16 I thought I was so in love with this guy even though he treated me AWFUL. When he broke up with me out of the blue with no explination I was completely heartbroken. I would pray to God to bring him back. I always struggled with what I did to make him go away. In recent years looking back I realized that I was never actually in love with this guy, he was a rebound. The guy I dated before him was one of the great loves of my life. I have 2. One being my husband, the other this guy. Anyway....When we broke up my life was shattered. I was broken in so many ways. He was my entire world and while dating him I made my life about him and in return lost most of who I was. After that I started seeing someone else without properly healing and switching my emotions from one guy to another (big mistake). Today I thank God for not answering my silly prayers. What would my life look like if I had stayed with him?! I don't think it would look very good.
This hasn't always been my outlook. When I struggled so hard to get pregnant I always asked God, WHY?!?! If someone had said that God's greatest gifts were unanswered prayers it is likely I would have slapped them. But now I see it plain as day! God was waiting for me to find THE doctor to make it happen. He waited for me to move to California and be in the right place in my life. God sent me to that doctor, I truly believe that.
It's weird how it all links together!! THANK GOD it does!
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